You Don’t Have to Be Okay to Begin: Learning to Live with Loss
Why It’s Hard to Write About Grief
There are days I open my laptop and the words just don’t come.
Not because I don’t care.
Not because I don’t know what to say.
But because I’m numb to it all.
That’s the thing about grief—it sneaks in and silences even the parts of you that were once fluent in comfort. I’ve sat with families in hospice, held space for sacred goodbyes, and written countless reflections on healing…
But lately, it’s felt almost impossible to write about loss. Maybe because I’m still trying to live through mine.
Grief Doesn’t Follow a Schedule—But Healing Can Begin Anytime
Most of us are taught to hide our grief—to smile through the pain, to “move on,” to pretend like we’re okay even when we’re breaking inside. But the truth is, you don’t have to be okay to begin healing.
Grief is not something you “get over.” It’s something you learn to live with. And that’s what this blog is about—learning to live with loss, even when your heart still aches.
What Does It Mean to Live with Grief?
Living with grief means waking up some mornings and feeling like the weight of the world is on your chest. It means missing someone so deeply that even a smell or a song can make time freeze.
But it also means discovering a new rhythm. One where the pain is real, but so is your resilience.
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of sitting with grieving hearts as a grief counselor and spiritual care provider:
Grief doesn’t have stages. It has waves.
You won’t ever be who you were before—but you can become someone new, rooted in love and memory.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means remembering with less pain and more love.
You Don’t Have to “Fix” Yourself First
One of the biggest myths around healing is that you have to “get it together” before you seek help or start your journey. That’s simply not true.
Healing begins right where you are. In the tears. In the anger. In the numbness. In the deep silence that no one else seems to understand.
You can start your healing journey even when:
You don’t feel ready.
You don’t have the words.
You feel broken.
Because healing doesn’t require perfection. It just requires presence.
A Gentle Resource for the Journey Ahead
If this resonates with you—or if you’re tired of hearing, “they’re in a better place” when your heart just wants to scream—I created something for you.
You Don’t Have to Be Okay to Begin – Learning to Live with Loss
This grief bundle includes a gentle 7-day reflection guide, spiritual and poetic blessings, and a calming meditation audio to walk with you through your grief.
It’s a digital resource designed to feel like a soft place to land. Whether your grief is fresh or decades old, this bundle was made to remind you: you are not alone, and you don’t have to do this perfectly.
Start Here. Start Now. Just Start.
If your heart is tired, if your soul feels like it's unraveling, or if you're just curious whether healing is even possible—this is your invitation.
You don’t have to be okay to begin.
You just have to take one small, courageous breath.
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
If This Helped You, Share It
If you found comfort in these words, consider sharing this post with someone you care about. You never know who might need a gentle reminder that healing doesn’t have to wait for everything to be “okay.”
Let’s make grief less lonely—together.
With Love,
Gene Quiocho
