Grief Is Strange—Some Days I Don’t Feel Anything at All
Grief Is Strange—Some Days I Don’t Feel Anything at All
And Then One Day I Broke Down in a Parking Lot
Since my dad passed, it’s been a mix of emotions.
Some days I cry.
Some days I don’t feel anything.
Some days I get through the whole day smiling—joking with my kids, going to work, folding laundry—without even thinking about him.
And then there are days like that one at the gym.
It started like a normal day.
I was playing basketball, trying to sweat out the weight I’d been carrying but didn’t have words for.
Just me, the ball, and the court—doing something I’ve done my whole life to find peace.
I played hard. Shot around. Laughed. Felt… good.
Almost like I was okay.
But the moment I got into my car and shut the door, it hit me.
All at once.
The scream came out before the tears did.
It was one of those deep, guttural cries. The kind you can’t fake.
The kind your body gives you when words won’t work.
I gripped the steering wheel and screamed so loud my throat burned.
And then I cried.
Ugly, full-body crying. The kind that leaves you breathless.
For my dad.
For what I didn’t get to say.
For the silence that now fills the spaces he used to occupy.
Grief doesn’t ask permission. It shows up.
I don’t share this for pity. I share it because I know someone reading this has also wondered if they’re grieving “right.”
Maybe your grief isn’t tidy. Maybe it doesn’t look like a Hallmark movie. Maybe you didn’t cry at the funeral, but lose it every time you hear their voicemail.
That’s okay.
Grief is not linear. It’s layered, and it’s honest, and it doesn’t care if you have things to do that day.
You don’t have to be okay to begin.
That moment in the car taught me something:
You can be functioning and still mourning.
You can laugh in the morning and cry in the parking lot.
You can show up for life and still feel like you're unraveling inside.
Healing isn’t neat.
It’s not polished.
And it certainly doesn’t come with instructions.
But it does start with honesty.
If you're somewhere in the middle of your own grief, I made something for you.
Not because I had it all figured out.
But because I didn’t.
👉 You Don’t Have to Be Okay to Begin – Learning to Live with Loss
This grief bundle is for the quiet moments.
The numb days.
The sudden breakdowns.
The days you want to feel something but don’t know how.
Inside you’ll find:
A gentle 7-day reflection guide
Spiritual and poetic blessings for every kind of loss
A calming meditation audio for the days your chest feels heavy
It’s not a cure. But it’s a companion.
Something to hold when everything else feels too far away.
You’re not alone in this.
And you’re not broken.
If this spoke to you, share it. Or just bookmark it for the days when you need to be reminded:
You don’t have to be okay to begin.
You just have to begin.
With Love,
Gene Quiocho
