When Spirituality Becomes an Escape: Finding Balance Between the Infinite and the Everyday
Spirituality has a way of drawing us in like nothing else.
It gives us a sense of something greater than ourselves, a place to rest when the world feels chaotic, and a lens through which to make sense of our experiences.
But it can also become a trap.
A way to avoid life rather than fully live it.
A way to retreat into enlightenment while neglecting the messiness of being human.
A way to chase the infinite while forgetting that our feet are planted firmly on the ground.
I’ve seen this in my own journey.
For a long time, I thought the goal of spirituality was to transcend—rise above pain, detach from the chaos, find inner peace so strong that nothing could shake me.
But there’s a fine line between seeking spiritual wisdom and using it as an escape.
And if we’re not careful, we can end up starving in a crystal palace—so consumed with the pursuit of the infinite that we forget to be present in the life we actually have.
When Spirituality Becomes an Escape
At its core, spirituality should help us engage with life more fully—not remove us from it.
But sometimes, we use spirituality to:
Avoid discomfort rather than working through it.
Ignore difficult emotions rather than facing them.
Stay detached from relationships rather than doing the hard work of love.
It’s tempting to want to be above it all—to reach a state where nothing bothers us, where suffering no longer touches us, where we are so enlightened that we float through life unaffected.
But that’s not real spirituality.
That’s just another form of avoidance.
The “Stink of Zen” and the Illusion of Spiritual Superiority
In Zen Buddhism, there’s a phrase called “the stink of Zen.”
It describes the way people, after a taste of spiritual wisdom, start believing they are somehow above the struggles of ordinary life.
They detach from emotions instead of feeling them.
They view themselves as awakened while judging others as unenlightened.
They see suffering as something lesser beings experience, rather than a natural part of existence.
This isn’t true peace—it’s just another version of ego.
And it’s easy to fall into.
I’ve seen this in myself before—thinking I was handling things well when, really, I was just spiritually bypassing.
Telling myself, It doesn’t matter when something hurt instead of acknowledging the pain.
Convincing myself, I’m above this petty drama instead of admitting I was avoiding confrontation.
Dismissing my own struggles as just illusions instead of actually sitting with them.
Real spirituality doesn’t detach us from life.
It anchors us in it.
It allows us to hold both the infinite and the ordinary.
To see the divine and the mess.
To chase enlightenment without losing touch with what it means to be human.
How to Know If You’re Using Spirituality to Escape
It’s subtle, but here are some ways to recognize when spirituality has become more of a retreat from life rather than an engagement with it:
You use spiritual phrases to dismiss real emotions. (“Everything happens for a reason.” “Just let it go.” “It’s all an illusion.”)
You believe that being detached is the highest goal. (Avoiding attachments, avoiding strong emotions, avoiding the natural ups and downs of life.)
You start seeing emotions as a problem to fix rather than something to feel. (You try to meditate away your sadness instead of sitting with it.)
You judge others for not being “spiritual enough.” (Feeling like you’ve reached a higher level while others are still "asleep.")
You retreat from real relationships because they are too messy. (Choosing solitude not because it nourishes you, but because it keeps you from doing the hard work of human connection.)
If any of this sounds familiar, don’t judge yourself.
Just recognize it for what it is:
A reminder that spirituality is meant to deepen your engagement with life, not remove you from it.
Living Between the Infinite and the Everyday
So how do we find balance?
How do we embrace spirituality without using it to escape reality?
Here are some things I’ve learned along the way:
1. Stay Grounded in the Present
It’s easy to get lost in spiritual practices that focus on transcendence—meditation, prayer, seeking enlightenment.
But real spiritual depth comes from being fully present in this moment.
Engage with your life as it is, not as you wish it to be.
Feel emotions rather than trying to transcend them.
Pay attention to the people around you—listen deeply, love fully.
The goal isn’t to escape reality.
It’s to be so present that you experience it fully.
2. Embrace Your Humanity—Don’t Try to Escape It
You will never be so enlightened that you no longer feel pain.
You will never be so evolved that you stop having emotions.
You will never be so spiritually awakened that you don’t need relationships, love, or connection.
And that’s a good thing.
Because being human—fully human—is the whole point.
Instead of trying to outgrow your humanity, learn to hold it with grace.
3. Stop Using Spirituality as a Shortcut for Emotional Work
Spiritual practices can be incredibly healing.
But they are not a substitute for therapy.
They are not a substitute for hard conversations.
They are not a substitute for actually dealing with your inner wounds.
If you find yourself using meditation, prayer, or spiritual wisdom to avoid something difficult—pause.
Ask yourself:
Am I using spirituality to heal, or to avoid?
Am I genuinely at peace, or just numbing myself?
Am I embracing growth, or am I escaping reality?
True spiritual growth means facing what is uncomfortable.
Not bypassing it.
4. Remember That the Infinite and the Ordinary Are Not Separate
Sometimes we think that to find the divine, we must leave behind the mundane.
But the sacred is not separate from the ordinary.
It is woven into it.
God is in the dishes as much as in the temple.
The universe exists in your morning coffee just as much as in deep meditation.
Enlightenment is just as present in a conversation with a friend as it is on a mountaintop.
If your spirituality is pulling you away from the world, it’s time to rethink what you’re seeking.
Because the infinite isn’t just out there.
It’s right here.
Final Thoughts: Live Fully, Love Deeply, Stay Awake
At the end of the day, spirituality should make us more engaged with life, not less.
It should make us more present, more compassionate, more real—not distant, detached, or above it all.
So today, ask yourself:
Am I using spirituality to engage with life or to escape from it?
How can I bring presence and meaning into my everyday moments?
Where have I been trying to transcend instead of simply being?
Because the whole point of spiritual practice isn’t to leave the world behind.
It’s to live fully in it.
Messy. Beautiful. Complicated. Sacred.
All of it.
Shareable Thought:
"Spirituality is not about escaping life—it’s about engaging with it fully. The sacred isn’t separate from the ordinary. It is the ordinary." 🌿 #MindfulLiving #SpiritualGrowth #StayPresent
For more reflections on faith, presence, and personal growth, visit genequiocho.com.
