The Sacred Threshold: Learning to Let Go and Embrace Transformation
Transformation rarely comes in the way we expect.
We like to imagine it as a moment of clarity, a grand revelation that sweeps in and makes everything make sense. But more often, transformation feels like standing at the edge of something unknown, unsure whether to take the next step.
It feels like surrender. Like letting go of what we once knew. Like stepping forward even when the path ahead is unclear.
And if I’ve learned anything, it’s this: transformation is never comfortable, but it is always necessary.
The Season That Changed Me
There was a time during my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) that forced me to wrestle with transformation in a way I never had before.
I came into the program thinking I had a good understanding of pastoral care. I had experience. I had training. I had the desire to help.
But nothing could have prepared me for what CPE would demand of me.
In the first few weeks, I struggled. Hard.
I wanted to show up with wisdom, to offer the right words, to be the kind of chaplain who could bring comfort with presence alone. But instead, I found myself confronted with my own limitations.
No textbook, no prepared prayer, no well-crafted theology could erase the rawness of sitting with someone in their final moments, of holding space for grief so deep that words felt inadequate.
I realized how much I had relied on structure, on certainty, on the idea that I could somehow control the outcome of a spiritual encounter.
But in CPE, control is stripped away.
I had to let go of my need to “fix.”
I had to let go of my desire to say the perfect thing.
I had to let go of the idea that I was there to bring something—when in truth, I was there to be something.
And in that letting go, something shifted.
Why Transformation Feels So Scary
We resist transformation because, at its core, it requires surrender.
To be transformed means stepping into the unknown, allowing ourselves to be reshaped in ways we cannot predict. It means releasing control—not just of external circumstances, but of our own understanding of who we are.
Who am I if I am not the expert?
Who am I if I don’t have the answers?
Who am I if I simply show up as I am and trust that it’s enough?
These were the questions I wrestled with every day in CPE.
But here’s what I learned: transformation is not something you force. It is something you allow.
It happens in the moments when we stop trying to control the process and instead, step fully into it.
Learning to Let Go: A Practice in Transformation
If transformation is about stepping into the unknown, then the first step is learning to release.
1. Release the need for certainty.
We often wait for clarity before we move forward, but transformation doesn’t work that way. The clarity comes after we step through the threshold, not before.
2. Release the pressure to have all the answers.
Some of the most profound moments in my chaplaincy journey weren’t about what I said, but about how I listened. Sometimes, transformation isn’t about adding something new—it’s about stripping away what is unnecessary.
3. Release the version of yourself that is no longer needed.
During CPE, I had to let go of the part of me that wanted to be seen as competent, the part that equated my worth with my ability to provide answers. I had to learn that presence, not perfection, is what truly matters.
When we let go of the old stories we tell ourselves, we make space for something new to emerge.
Crossing the Threshold
There is a moment in every transformation journey when you realize there is no turning back.
For me, that moment came in a hospital room, sitting in silence with a grieving family.
I had no words to offer, no way to make the situation better. But in that stillness, I understood something profound:
I wasn’t there to change anything.
I wasn’t there to provide easy answers.
I was there to be present, to hold space, to witness.
And somehow, that was enough.
That’s the thing about transformation—it doesn’t always look like we expect. It’s not always about doing more or knowing more. Sometimes, it’s about becoming more by letting go.
What Transformation Asks of Us
If you are standing on the edge of something new, feeling the pull of transformation but afraid to step forward, know this:
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t need to feel fully prepared.
You don’t need to wait for the fear to disappear.
Transformation isn’t about feeling ready. It’s about trusting that what is ahead is greater than what you are leaving behind.
It’s about saying yes to the unknown.
It’s about surrendering to the process, even when you don’t yet see the outcome.
And it’s about believing that even in uncertainty, something beautiful is unfolding.
Shareable Thought:
"Transformation doesn’t happen when you hold on. It happens when you let go. What if, instead of resisting what is unknown, you stepped into it with trust?"
If this resonated with you, follow me here for more reflections on clarity, resilience, and personal growth. For deeper insights and free spiritual resources, visit genequiocho.com.
