How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists
For as long as I can remember, I’ve lived with an inner voice that told me I wasn’t quite there yet.
Not good enough.
Not accomplished enough.
Not wise, fit, successful, or disciplined enough.
No matter what I did, there was always more to fix. More to improve. More to prove.
And for a long time, I believed that if I could just get everything right—if I could meet my own impossibly high standards—then I’d finally feel worthy.
But the problem with perfectionism is that it never delivers what it promises.
It tells us that if we just work a little harder, if we just become a little better, then we’ll feel at peace.
But the goalpost keeps moving.
And instead of feeling fulfilled, we just feel exhausted.
At some point, I had to ask myself:
What if I don’t need to earn my worth?
What if I don’t need to prove I’m enough?
What if I already am?
The Myth That Keeps Us Stuck
Somewhere along the way, many of us learned a dangerous lie:
That being enough is something we have to achieve.
That our value is tied to our productivity, our accomplishments, our ability to meet impossible standards.
And so, we hustle for our worth.
We strive to be the best in our work, believing success will finally quiet the self-doubt.
We aim for flawless relationships, thinking that if we’re good enough, we won’t be rejected.
We criticize ourselves for every mistake, hoping that if we’re hard on ourselves now, we’ll get it right next time.
But this way of living is a trap.
Because when is enough, enough?
When you get the promotion?
When you lose the weight?
When you master self-discipline?
The truth is, there will always be something else to fix.
Unless we learn to embrace who we are right now, nothing we accomplish will ever feel like enough.
The Practice of Self-Acceptance
So how do we start shifting from never enough to already enough?
Here’s what’s been helping me:
1. Stop Treating Yourself Like a Project
Most of us approach self-improvement like a never-ending to-do list.
We treat our bodies like something to sculpt.
Our minds like something to optimize.
Our hearts like something to fix.
But you are not a problem to be solved.
You are a human being—worthy of love, rest, and grace, even in your unfinished state.
Try this: Instead of asking “How can I be better?”, ask “How can I be more accepting of who I already am?”
Because real self-acceptance isn’t about stopping growth.
It’s about recognizing that you are already whole, even as you continue evolving.
2. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
If a friend came to you and said:
"I feel like I’m not good enough. I keep messing up. I don’t know if I’ll ever be worthy."
Would you respond with:
"Yeah, you’re right. You should definitely be doing more."
Of course not.
You’d remind them of their worth.
You’d tell them they don’t have to be perfect to be loved.
You’d hold space for them with kindness.
So why don’t we do that for ourselves?
The way we talk to ourselves matters.
If your inner critic is relentless, start practicing a different voice.
Instead of: “You’re so behind.”
Try: “You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”
Instead of: “You’ll never be good enough.”
Try: “You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy.”
The goal isn’t to become delusional about your flaws.
It’s to remind yourself that imperfection doesn’t cancel out your value.
3. Recognize That Gratitude Isn’t Just for What You Have—It’s for Who You Are
We hear a lot about practicing gratitude for what we have.
But what if we also practiced gratitude for who we are?
The resilience we’ve built through struggles.
The kindness we extend to others.
The way we keep showing up, even when it’s hard.
Perfectionism focuses on what’s missing.
Gratitude focuses on what’s already good.
So instead of only thanking life for what it gives you, try thanking yourself for what you bring to it.
Because you are enough.
Not because you’ve done enough.
Not because you’ve achieved enough.
But simply because you exist.
And that, on its own, is worthy of gratitude.
Living Like You’re Already Enough
The hardest part of letting go of perfectionism is that it feels like giving up.
It feels like if we stop pushing so hard, we’ll become stagnant.
It feels like if we stop striving, we’ll start failing.
But self-acceptance isn’t the end of growth.
It’s the beginning of a different kind of growth—one that isn’t fueled by shame, but by love.
So today, ask yourself:
Where am I still waiting to be “enough”?
How would my life feel different if I stopped striving and started embracing?
What would it look like to trust that I already have value, exactly as I am?
Because real peace comes when we realize that there is nothing left to prove.
You are already enough.
And you always have been.
Shareable Thought:
"You don’t have to do more, be more, or fix more to be worthy. You are already enough—exactly as you are." 🌿 #SelfAcceptance #YouAreEnough #LetGoOfPerfection
For more reflections on self-acceptance, presence, and personal growth, visit genequiocho.com.
